Undoing Crazy

Beauty and the Borderline

Orange Flames

Check out this article on what it’s like to have Borderline Personality Disorder from Mind, a mental health charity in the UK.

The burn of borderline personality disorder – Mind

Posted Friday 25 January 2013

Marsha Linehan, an American psychologist and author uses a great analogy to describe what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is…

” People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90 percent of their body. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement”.

Try to imagine that third degree burn, over 90 percent of your body, a physical wound, one that is painful, raw and sensitive; suppose someone tries to put a lotion on that wound, a wound that cannot be touched without causing intense agony. Imagine the pain that you would have to endure just to begin the healing process.

Now imagine the same for an emotional wound.


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Missing blogging and a game

I haven’t been able to blog much due to my parents having a horrible internet connection, I’ve only been able to go online sparingly but it hasn’t been too horrible. The only thing I’m really missing is this blog.  I could do without Facebook completely.  My treatment is going well, I really feel like I’m finally starting to breakthrough and acupuncture has helped my neck pain so much.  I start IOP next week and I’ll be going three days a a week and seeing my therapist the other two.  Right now, I just need to go over my notes and practice things.

Rules –

  1. You must post the rules
  2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
  3. Create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged
  4. Tag (eleven) people with a link to your post
  5. Let them know they’ve been tagged

Here are my answers to the questions posed by WeeGee:

  1. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? To live one day at a time.
  2. Are you a dog person, a cat person, or some-other-kind-of-animal person? Dog and guinea pig person, really I love most all animals.
  3. What is your opinion of mushrooms? Not my cup of tea.
  4. Could you recommend a good book please? I’m currently reading Prozac Nation, but it’s not keeping my attention. I love the Dexter series by Jeff Lindsay.
  5. What’s your motto? Live one day at a time, although it’s not always easy to follow.
  6. Is it okay to lie to spare somebody’s feelings? I try to never lie, and when I do it eats me up until I have to admit that I lied.
  7. What’s the best thing about blogging? Being able to belong to a group outside of my therapy group.  Most support groups meet at night and when I go back to work I won’t be able to get as much group therapy as I would like, this has been helpful in providing some of that extra help.
  8. Could you tell me a joke or share something funny? 
  9. Is there something that you don’t like but wish that you did? My skin.
  10.  What would you do if you found a ferret in the street? I would probably leave it be, ferret’s kind of smell funny.
  11.  What should I ask if I really want to get to know you? Anything you want.

Here are my eleven questions:

  1. What kind of computer do you do your blogging on?
  2. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
  3. What is one thing you can’t live without?
  4. Could you recommend a good book please?
  5. What’s the best advice you’ve been given regarding treatment of your mental illness?
  6. Are you a Starbucks person? If so, what is your favorite drink or treat?
  7. Do you have a special spot you go to to blog?
  8. What is one thing you are proud of?
  9. What is your favorite car?
  10.  What would you do if you could do anything?
  11.  What should I ask if I really want to get to know you?

And here are the bloggers I’m tagging (note to people I’m tagging, no need to feel obliged to take part I just thought it was good fun)




Halfway Between The Gutter and the Stars

Take a Ride on my Mood Swing


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What’s wrong?

I feel like Bella, always wanting to hide in my cave and only come out for food and water.  If only I could be like Stella, she enjoyed when I took her out and held and pet her for while.   I was reading a fellow bloggers post today and wish people could understand that depression affects the way people feel and the way their mind works and thinks.

I don’t always know whats wrong, I wish people knew that too. Depression doesn’t always have to have reason.

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“send your armies in of robbers and thieves to steal the state I’m in, I don’t want it anymore”

The above is from a song called Basket Case from Sara Bareilles.  The perfect description of how I’ve been feeling for a while.

I’m trying to come up with more in depth topics to talk about, but I’m having a hard time just doing the regular things I was getting used to.  The shrink I talked to (that I despise) said to keep going for another couple weeks on the dosages he gave me last week.  If I still feel like this, we’ll do a switch again.  Yay!  

I sent a text to my landlord this morning asking if I could get a cat. He has yet to respond, which makes me think his answer is probably no. I really want something to look forward to waking up to.  Work, reading, and writing really won’t cut it for too long.

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